DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.