I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger