he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?