why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra