Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
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I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
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And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!