WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here