So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina