Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.