She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh