What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.