All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.