why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.