well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
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My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
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Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.