He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
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as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.