How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.