I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So how was he last night?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.