I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?