Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...