@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too