He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.