Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
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Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...