Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am