I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!