Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
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from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?