Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.

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  (484): Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me. http://tfl.nu/3y7i
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (4075) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die

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  (703): No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die http://tfl.nu/xp9d
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (1396) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.

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  (317): Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it. http://tfl.nu/ks3m
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.

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  (916): He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/zvxf
  Replies (10) Good night (506) Bad night (1856) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...

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  (407): Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school... http://tfl.nu/m7rc
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.

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  (859): You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy. http://tfl.nu/r8h1
  Replies (10) Good night (506) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.

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  (403): I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave. http://tfl.nu/rhln
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.

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  (858): I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back. http://tfl.nu/eq49
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.

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  (678): I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost. http://tfl.nu/2pxc
  Replies (9) Good night (506) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.

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  (949): i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole. http://tfl.nu/wmi4
  Replies (37) Good night (506) Bad night (3006) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"

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  (608): It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy" http://tfl.nu/jtam
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (178) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists

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  (215): An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists http://tfl.nu/ypfg
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (258) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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  (847): okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy. http://tfl.nu/r1l8
  Replies (20) Good night (506) Bad night (4881) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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  (804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh
  Replies (87) Good night (506) Bad night (9477) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yo dont text me then not text me

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  (248): Yo dont text me then not text me http://tfl.nu/2apf
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt