Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?