I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.