Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.