my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed