I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road