Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.