When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions