Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
