Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
be right there i have to get my cape
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".