We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
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How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
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dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?