Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
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fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.