I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.