its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.