Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.