omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today