He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man