That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.