I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?