will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!