Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.

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  (218): You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk. http://tfl.nu/cpk7
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again

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  (440): I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again http://tfl.nu/lwkt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.

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  (503): There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing. http://tfl.nu/yajw
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.

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  (602): Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/31f5
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...

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  (214): I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex... http://tfl.nu/zoqe
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  (408): View more from California

  Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?

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  (408): Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens? http://tfl.nu/6bgt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces

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  (+44): Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces http://tfl.nu/5di3
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.

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  (301): He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home. http://tfl.nu/hk8n
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers

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  (905): I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers http://tfl.nu/jbgt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.

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  (330): Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out. http://tfl.nu/uvib
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy

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  (201): Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy http://tfl.nu/ijnw
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap

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  (508): Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap http://tfl.nu/gn8d
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having

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  (505): I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having http://tfl.nu/8kbk
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

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  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
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  (813): View more from Florida

  IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA

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  (813): IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA http://tfl.nu/d0dd
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