its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!