A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.