I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.