i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.