Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea