I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
