He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.