But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.