Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?