in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells