Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....