Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
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i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.