I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
