420 ftw
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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