apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize