Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just pee around me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines