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finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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