You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.