does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
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we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.