Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of All Time

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  (845): View more from New York

  finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!

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  (845): finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted! http://tfl.nu/7ysb
  Replies (6) Good night (1695) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again

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  (248): Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again http://tfl.nu/uk5s
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.

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  (608): I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs. http://tfl.nu/xnbx
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

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  (330): OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM. http://tfl.nu/cuq6
  Replies (15) Good night (2513) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  (978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md
  Replies (2) Good night (965) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator

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  (978): woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator http://tfl.nu/ric1
  Replies (9) Good night (656) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.

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  (515): My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker. http://tfl.nu/y9qd
  Replies (0) Good night (959) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.

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  (724): You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to. http://tfl.nu/ryed
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.

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  (773): you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening. http://tfl.nu/4psa
  Replies (12) Good night (1173) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!

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  (775): A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/j8i6
  Replies (9) Good night (2009) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?

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  (301): Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed? http://tfl.nu/ow4j
  Replies (5) Good night (1287) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You fucker.

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  (603): Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age. (1-603): You fucker. http://tfl.nu/7pi3
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?

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  (703): yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'? http://tfl.nu/6ned
  Replies (7) Good night (1468) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.

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  (248): Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose. http://tfl.nu/kcg6
  Replies (8) Good night (1321) Bad night (352)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.

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  (503): I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature. (503): Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true. http://tfl.nu/zw1q
  Replies (3) Good night (1274) Bad night (352)