I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.