If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.