I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?