walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!