Are you guys doing anything tonight?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of