why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
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She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.