I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.