so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.