Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of