There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording