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KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
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