you win again, gameday.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.