Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
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can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
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College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.