You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
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SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?