i was born a porn star she said
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.