I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.