She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA