You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
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Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.