The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?