Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.