He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
time to smoke my breakfast
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word