I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill