you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
