my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Houston, we have a squirter
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pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.