the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize