It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
