I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
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Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
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I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...