You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.