hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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