planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
