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my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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