Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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