I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.