i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
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Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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