#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.