watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.