you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...