I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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