There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.