So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
