For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK