Texts From Last Night · mencar's Favorites

mencar's Favorites Texts:

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(205): View more from Alabama

Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.

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(205): Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/viom

Replies (26) Good night (7522) Bad night (1335) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter

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(973): So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter http://tfl.nu/eba3

Replies (36) Good night (1838) Bad night (5502) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3

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(403): Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3 http://tfl.nu/lt38

Replies (20) Good night (1671) Bad night (3529) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.

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(918): My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/kyk3

Replies (24) Good night (2389) Bad night (3740) Order T-Shirt
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(352): View more from Florida

I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

(352): View more from Florida

Just realized these events may be related.

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(352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd

Replies (21) Good night (6262) Bad night (1847)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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(501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1

Replies (18) Good night (10023) Bad night (1654) Order T-Shirt
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...

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(321): Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds... http://tfl.nu/1h6m

Replies (12) Good night (996) Bad night (6438) Order T-Shirt
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(701): View more from North Dakota

For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.

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(701): For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza. http://tfl.nu/ui1g

Replies (15) Good night (4953) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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(225): I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one. http://tfl.nu/gflz

Replies (11) Good night (4784) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

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(708): So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive. http://tfl.nu/w5b0

Replies (22) Good night (3093) Bad night (5619) Order T-Shirt
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(204): View more from Manitoba

So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

You would...

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(204): So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone. (1-204): You would... http://tfl.nu/ljy4

Replies (14) Good night (1009) Bad night (3371) Order T-Shirt
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(212): View more from New York

Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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(212): Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing. http://tfl.nu/tshz

Replies (39) Good night (3515) Bad night (1291) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.

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(703): you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him. http://tfl.nu/eh64

Replies (26) Good night (4985) Bad night (1361) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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(401): Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name. http://tfl.nu/4teg

Replies (13) Good night (6246) Bad night (2071) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.

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(203): Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more. http://tfl.nu/bcah

Replies (31) Good night (5376) Bad night (1045) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii

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(517): you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii http://tfl.nu/lbrx

Replies (22) Good night (8942) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt

mencar's Favorites Texts:

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